How to Survive Hallowe'en: A Parent's Guide
Over the last couple of decades or so Hallowe’en has changed beyond recognition. Costumes have become more and more outlandish, preparation has had to become a military operation and the trick or treat take-homes are often enough to stock a sweet shop. Grown humans turn up at work dressed as Lucifer and have been known to wish each other a ‘Happy Hallowe’en’ as they pass each other in the street. These, in my (only slightly grumpy) opinion, are strange times.
Nevertheless, as the parent of small children, the excitement can take over the household on about October 2nd. To make the day slightly more palatable to you, we’ve written a five point plan for surviving Hallowe’en as the parent of small people:
- Don’t automatically leap onto Amazon
I know it’s tempting to jump onto your computer as soon there’s a need for a costume (here’s looking at you, Great Fire of London Day) but with a small amount of planning, there is an alternative.
Charity shops with a children’s section are an excellent source of costumes as, because they’re rarely daily attire, they’re often as good as new. For example, I’ve found some absolute winners at Fara on Ealing Green.
- Have a back-up plan
However organised you think you’re being, inclement weather, last minute misplacements or a random stubborn change of mind may mean coming up with an alternative costume at the last minute.
I’m not necessarily condoning the idea of pandering to a child’s petulant whim but perhaps have a super simple (and cheap) costume on the bench. e.g. stick a couple of tubes of smarties to a pair of pants for a simple Smartie Pants costume; buy an extra couple of loo rolls and wrap your child in it for a quick Mummy look or dress your kid in black, stuff a couple of pairs of black tights, pin them to their back and you have a spider. Added bonus is, if they see what they look like in the alternative costume, they may return to Plan A with less of a fuss.
3. Buy chocolate and sweets you like
Many people say the opposite ‘as you won’t be tempted to eat them all if there are leftovers.’ I don’t subscribe to that crap. If there are leftovers, celebrate your survival of what’s now called a ‘holiday’ by eating them.
4. Set a short route and stick to it
It’s possible to be out on the street for three or four hours if you don’t have a succinct plan. Go up and down 2 or 3 streets and your child will have a perfectly decent amount of sugar to brag about.
Top tip for newbies: The general rule is, if the house isn’t dressed for Hallowe’en (i.e. there’s no pumpkin outside) don’t knock.
5. Stick up a note on your door at 7/7.30 that says you’ve run out of sweets
OK, this may seem a bit miserable but, in my humble opinion, Hallowe’en is for little kids. If you’re old enough to be walking the streets alone and knocking on people’s doors at 7.30pm, you’re too old to be trick or treating. It’s scary for older people to have a teenager with a Scream mask hammering at their door in the dark; and, quite frankly, it gets in the way of my supper.